Lionel Asbo: State of England

Why aren’t you out smashing windows? It’s not healthy.

Lionel Asbo – a very violent but not very successful criminal – has always looked out for his nephew, Desmond Pepperdine. He gives him fatherly advice (carry a knife) and introduces him to the joys of Internet porn. Des, on the other hand, desires nothing more than books, a girl to love and to steer clear Uncle Li s psychotic pitbulls, Joe and Jeff.

Lionel is going about his morning duties in a London prison when he learns that he has just won £139,999,999.50 on the National Lottery. This is not necessarily good news for Des who has a secret that could unleash his uncle s implacable vengeance.