Twitterature: The World’s Greatest Books Retold Through Twitter

From Oedipus: PARTY IN THEBES!!! Nobody cares | killed that old dude, plus this woman is all over me. Total MILF.
From Paradise Lost: OH MY GOD I’M IN HELL.

Perhaps you once asked yourself, What exactly is Hamlet trying to tell me? Why must he mince his words, muse in lyricism and, in short, whack about the shrub?’ No doubt such troubling questions would have been swiftly resolved were the Prince of Denmark a registered user on Twitter.com. This, in essence, is Twitterature.

From Hamlet: WTF IS POLONIUS DOING BEHIND. THE CURTAIN???

Here you will find over sixty of the greatest works of western literature – from Beowulf to Brontë, from Kafka to Kerouac, and from Dostoevsky to Dickens – each distilled through the voice of Twitter to its purest, pithiest essence. Including a full glossary of online acronyms and Twitterary terms to aid the amateur, Twitterature provides everything you need to master the literature of the civilised world, while relieving you of the burdensome task of reading it.

From Dante’s Inferno: I’m havin’ a midlife crisis. Lost in the woods. Shoulda brought my iPhone.